Yesterday was a HORRIBLE day. but funny at the same time. each time something bad happened, i got mad and then i literally laughed out loud. because it just got to be too weird. pretty much everything that could possibly go wrong, did.
it began early yesterday morning as i awoke in my hotel room in omaha. i was tired and crabby having only slept approximately 3 hours. even though i took sleeping pills. which did absolutely nothing but make me feel drugged and give me a headache.
i make my way to the shower only to discover that the hotel maid had accidentally stocked the bathroom with two conditioner bottles instead of a shampoo and a conditioner. perturbed, i called the front desk and asked them to send up a shampoo. about 15 minutes later, i receive the shampoo. ok. no big deal.
following the shower, im in a hurry to blowdry my hair and get ready because im now running about 20 minutes behind schedule. the shuttle is picking me up at 7:30. i open the drawer to pull out the blowdryer that the hotel supplies. plug it in. turn it on.
nothing. it's broken. i press the reset button. i try the outlet next to the bed. nothing.
i call the front desk to ask for another blowdryer. they claim to have no extras.
and so Linda must go to work with wet hair. UNCOOL. what's even uncooler (is that a word?) is that i had to put it in a wet ponytail. which made me look like a lesbian lady cop or something. with a slicked-back bun. like i chose to overdo the mousse. and then the ponytail itself began to get frazzled and it was air drying which meant it became wavy and unattractive curly. ugggggggggggh.
so i was irritated when i arrived at the airport and to my first flight of the day (I had three). on the first flight, the people who worked on the plane the previous night used the ice that was supposed to be for our flight, so we had to use the old, melting ice that was already in the cart drawer. so, i had to dump the melted water out of the drawer. it was freezing cold. and as i lifted it to dump it down the lavatory toilet, i dumped it on myself.
freezing cold water, all over my legs and on my feet. im now soaking wet.
i stood in amazement with my mouth wide open. then i started laughing. because now my head and my legs and feet are wet. this day is going to be AWESOME!
just then, one of the ladies i was working with announces we are boarding. so passengers begin coming on the plane. i lean over to rub my legs with my hand in an attempt to dry off my soaking wet nylons, and my ring becomes snagged, creating a large hole and then a run extending from my knee to my ankle.
i laugh again. because.....seriously?
now im wet, and i look even more ridiculous because my black nylons have a gigantic hole and run in them, exposing my very white skin.
while passengers are filling the plane, i pull my suitcase out of an overhead bin and try to discreetly open it and search for another pair of nylons. feeling a pair in my hand, i pull it out and lift it up, not knowing that it is entangled with a leopard-print bra.
so now i am holding up nylons and a leopard-print bra, in the first class cabin, while passengers walk by and stare.
i stuff the bra back into the suitcase and put it back into the overhead compartment. take the nylons to the lav and change. so now im somewhat dry, although my hair is still wet and my feet are soaking wet. when i walk, my shoes make a squishing noise.
the rest of the flight continues without another incident.
on my next flight, however, i am working in the first class cabin, doing the dinner service. out of the 24 passengers, about 10 of them already have their trays of food. suddenly, the plane turns almost COMPLETELY sideways. i've never felt anything like it in my life. for a split second, i thought i was going to die. really and truly, i thought we were going down. because the entire plane was sideways. it seemed to happen in slow motion. one second im standing in the galley, pouring a glass of wine, and the next second, i hear things crashing and breaking and i see the girl im working with all of a sudden BELOW me, even though she had been standing right next to me. and then suddenly im falling, but im not sure how i could be falling because my feet were just on the floor.
i ended up falling to the other side of the galley, hitting my head on the airplane door. apparently, we had become entrapped in the tailwind of another plane ahead of us.
the captain assured us he always had complete control over the plane and we werent in any real danger, but it shook me up nevertheless. because now not only is my head wet, but it hurts. really badly. because i fell about 8 feet into the airplane door.
also, the passengers that had their food already, lost it all. all of their trays fell and crashed onto the floor or onto other passengers. the coffee china broke. the bottle of wine i had in my hands also broke, spilling wine everywhere. it was a mess.
i cried for about 30 seconds because my head hurt so bad. and i was shaken up. and then i started laughing.
because this was such a completely horrible day. and it was amusing.
my next flight went well. and then i found myself on my way home. read a book on the train. came to my stop. started walking home. while crossing kimball, a car came driving wildly up to the stop sign. it became apparent to me it wasnt going to stop just as i was about to cross in front of it. i put my hand out in an attempt to catch it. the whole experience reminded me a whole lot of the time i got hit by a car in the evansville walmart parking lot. only that car was going in reverse. this car was going forward.
the girl slammed on her brakes. she had her window down. she looked about 16 years old. her mouth was wide open. she said "im soooooo sorry!" and then started driving again.
i laughed because i almost died for the second time in one day. and then kept walking, pulling my luggage behind me. about 2 minutes later, one of the wheels on my luggage decided to stop being a wheel. so it stopped turning as wheels do. and now i can no longer pull my luggage behind me. i carried it the rest of the way home. which is not a short walk. and my luggage is not light, by the way.
and there you have it. my horrible day. it's a good thing im resilient.
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