Greetings from Linda Land. it's been a minute. thought i'd give you the 411 on what's currently going down in my life. im talking in all kinds of un-cool lingo. im going to stop now.
my life has been pretty full of revelations lately. one of the most significant is that i'm getting old. not in the depressing sense. i of course realize the majority of my life is AHEAD of me and not behind, but i also don't know how i suddenly became one of those adults who looks at a group of teenagers causing a raucous in the mall and shakes her head in quiet disapproval. just yesterday wasn't I one of those teenagers? even the age of 19 or 20, which on first thought doesnt seem to be that far behind me an age, was A LIFETIME AGO. how did this happen? and more importantly, why do i still look like im 18??
case in point: coming home from the museum the other day i took the el. walking through the subway station at roosevelt, i couldnt help but notice a young man suddenly keeping perfect pace with me. i glanced over and yes indeed, he was looking down at my face, waiting for me to look up. first glance told me, of course, that this youngster could not be over the age of 17...so i kept walking.
"I like your shirt." He offered.
I peered down at my shirt as i briskly walked and replied, "I'm pretty sure it's just a shirt."
"What school do you go to?"
uhhhhh. I laughed out loud. LOL in teenager speak.
"I'm out of school." I said quickly, continuing to walk with my head down.
"Oh. Ok. Do you go to college?"
uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. LOL, once again.
"I'm done with college. I've BEEN done. For awhile."
"Oh. Well here's my number. Give me a call sometime."
He hands me a sheet of notebook paper with his number on it and then falls back, allowing me, finally to walk ahead.
Then I wondered, does this boy just walk around with his name and number scrawled onto sheets of paper, preparing to hand them out? How in this world did this magical number just appear as he was walking? And more importantly, why did he believe I was his age? Better yet, when he found out I wasn't his age, did I really look lame enough that he believed I would be interested in a high school boy?
ugggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh.
number 2: I'm going back to school. this decision happened in an instant. kind of an epiphany of sorts. just out of the blue it occurred to me that I'M SO MUCH BETTER THAN MY JOB.
um hello. my name is linda kiszka. i started reading books when i was four. i scored a 1200 on my SAT's and was accepted to every college i ever applied to. and now im a flight attendant.
something isnt right here. somewhere along the way i've sold myself short. i know i can do sooooo much better with my life. there's no reason why i shouldnt be living comfortably, and no reason why i shouldnt have a job which requires me to use my brain. i MISS using my brain.
I look around me at people i know (no names) who have waaaaay better jobs than me and i wonder, how did THAT happen? weren't they like....really stupid? why can't i do that? ......DUH. I CAN. why didnt this occur to me sooner?
so yes, i want to be a nurse. at this point my dream is to work with babies, in neonatal nursing. but im aware that could change as i go through school. and im also aware that nursing seems to have come completely out of left field and may not make sense to a lot of my friends, seeing that im not particularly known to be *ahem* sensitive when it comes to other people. To put it bluntly, i make fun of people a whole lot.
but in reality, im usually just pointing out the painfully obvious. i cant help it that im extremely observant. and i AM a compassionate person, despite what some people may think. i have an unusual sense of empathy, which probably explains why i very rarely cry over any kind of issue in my own life, but bawl while watching cotton commercials or when an over-excited kid wins the national spelling bee on ESPN. i like to take care of people. which is probably why i feel more complete when i have a BF. i like to do things for people. i like to make people happy. taking care of babies and kids and yes, even adults would feel so GREAT. i'd actually have a purpose beyond serving beverages and getting yelled at by V.I.B's who think they're more important than me.
AND. i'd be using my BRAIN.
now im aware it may take me a loooong time to get through school, even with a degree already in hand. and it may be a while before i can even get into school, since i have to find a new job first. (my inconsistent schedule makes it impossible to regularly attend ANYTHING, let alone class). Also i dont know at this point how many classes i can afford to take at one time, because i dont know what kind of financial aid im going to qualify for. so, first the new job. then school.
so maybe i'll be 30. maybe i'll be over 30. but one day, it will happen for me. i know it will because i've already made up my mind. and im one stubborn you know what when i want to be.
more exciting news..... i got a new car! finally! it's (nearly) new and it smells good and it's clean and shiny and it has air conditioning and a working CD player and it starts EVERYTIME i want it to. im so very happy.
at the beach the other day i became completely lost in my book and before i knew it, 3 hours had passed and i had not yet flipped over. oooops. my backside is burned. like really bad. FYI. which may be TMI. but im not just talking about my butt, although that's pretty burned. the entire backside of my body is burned. im desperately waiting for it to fade.
and there you have it.
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